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By: Guest | Date: Nov 24 2009 03:55 | Format: None | Expires: never | Size: 1.16 KB | Hits: 893

  1. EDWARD LEAVES BELLA!!!11! because he wants to protect her from himself. Afterward, Bella becomes super emo and doesn't do anything for a while, which makes for a super exciting sequel. Jacob, a Native American who totally wants to be BFF's with Bella fills in during Edward's absence, fulfilling Bella's need to be a complete attention whore at all times. Bella also has a dream where Jacob becomes a wolf-- WHAT COULD THIS POSSIBLY MEAN?! Eventually Jacob tells her he's a werewolf. A new vampire villain, Victoria, shows up and wants Bella dead because Cullen killed her boyfriend James in the last book. This gives the werewolf tribe a reason to make Bella the center of attention as they try to protect her. The book then takes a page from "Romeo and Juliet," and Bella tries to commit suicide but fails hard. Rosalie 'accidentally' tells Edward that Bella is dead, so Edward goes to Italy to commit suicide, too, but Alice and Bella stop him just in the nick of time(GODFUCKINGDAMMIT!). The Cullens and Volturi debate over whether or not Bella should become a vampire, and Jacob is extremely butthurt now that he's just friends with Bella. Oh yeah, and Edward proposes to Bella.