I sexually Identify as an Attack Helicopter.

 

Ever since I was a boy I dreamed of soaring over the oilfields dropping hot sticky loads on disgusting foreigners. People say to me that a person being a helicopter is Impossible and I'm retarded but I don't care, I'm beautiful. I'm having a plastic surgeon install rotary blades, 30 mm cannons and AMG-114 Hellfire missiles on my body.

 

From now on I want you guys to call me "Apache" and respect my right to kill from above and kill needlessly.

 

If you can't accept me you're a heliphobe and need to check your vehicle privilege. Thank you for being so understanding.